Not everyone squirts, and that’s completely normal. Squirting depends on a combination of anatomy, arousal, and individual variation that differs significantly from person to person. The glands responsible for producing the fluid vary in size across the population, which means some people are physically more prone to it than others, regardless of technique or arousal level.
What Actually Happens When Someone Squirts
Squirting involves fluid being expelled from the urethra during sexual arousal or orgasm. The fluid comes primarily from two small structures called Skene’s glands, which sit on either side of the urethra. These glands are roughly the size of a small blueberry, though that size varies considerably from person to person. During arousal, they swell in response to increased blood flow and can release fluid through tiny openings.
The fluid itself is distinct from regular vaginal lubrication. Skene’s glands produce a milk-like secretion that contains proteins similar to those found in semen, including prostate-specific antigen (PSA). Researchers consider these glands to be the female equivalent of the prostate. In larger-volume squirting, the fluid also contains diluted components from the bladder, which is why studies have found it to be a mixture of glandular secretions and modified urine. This doesn’t mean squirting is “just peeing.” The composition is different, and the mechanism that triggers it is tied to sexual arousal, not bladder function.
Why Your Anatomy Plays the Biggest Role
The most likely reason you don’t squirt is simply the size and development of your Skene’s glands. These glands vary enormously between individuals. Some people have well-developed glands that produce noticeable fluid during orgasm, while others have smaller glands that produce very little or none at all. There’s no way to change the size of these glands through exercise, supplements, or technique. It’s an anatomical trait, like having longer or shorter fingers.
This variation explains why squirting isn’t something every person can learn to do. If your glands are on the smaller end of the spectrum, they simply don’t produce enough fluid for an expulsion you’d notice. You may still produce small amounts of fluid from these glands during arousal without ever realizing it, since the secretion also serves to lubricate the urethral opening and protect against urinary tract infections.
The Role of Arousal and Stimulation
For people whose anatomy does support squirting, the trigger is typically pressure on the front wall of the vagina, about two to two and a half inches inside, toward the belly button. This area, often called the G-spot, sits close to the Skene’s glands and the surrounding nerve-rich tissue. Firm, rhythmic pressure on this spot during high arousal is the most commonly reported way squirting occurs.
But arousal itself matters just as much as the physical stimulation. Skene’s glands swell with blood flow during arousal, and that engorgement is what allows them to fill with fluid. If you’re not fully aroused, tense, or mentally distracted, the glands won’t swell as much and there’s less fluid available. This is why many people who do squirt report that it happens inconsistently. It’s not a reliable on-demand response, even for those with the right anatomy.
Staying well hydrated won’t directly cause squirting, but it supports blood flow and overall arousal response, which are prerequisites for the process to happen at all.
Mental and Muscular Factors
Many people who have experienced squirting describe a moment of “letting go” right before it happens. The sensation can feel similar to the urge to urinate, which causes a lot of people to tense up and clamp down instinctively. That muscular tension in the pelvic floor can prevent fluid from being released, even if the glands have produced it.
This creates a frustrating cycle: the more you focus on trying to make it happen, the more tension you hold in your body, and the less likely it becomes. Performance pressure, whether from a partner’s expectations or your own curiosity, works against the relaxation that the process seems to require. People who squirt often describe it as something that happened when they stopped trying to control the experience.
Pelvic floor strength also plays a role in the mechanics. The contractions of these muscles during orgasm contribute to the expulsion of fluid. But “strong” pelvic floor muscles aren’t necessarily better here. Muscles that are chronically tight (a common pattern in people who carry stress in their lower body) can actually work against the release. The ability to fully relax the pelvic floor matters as much as the ability to contract it.
What Squirting Is Not
Pornography has created a wildly unrealistic picture of squirting. The dramatic, high-volume gushing shown on screen does not reflect what most people experience. Real squirting ranges from a small, barely noticeable release of fluid to a moderate gush, and it doesn’t happen with every orgasm even for those who can do it. Comparing your experience to what you’ve seen in porn is comparing yourself to a performance, not to biology.
It’s also worth knowing that squirting and orgasm are not the same thing. Some people squirt without orgasming, and most people orgasm without squirting. The two can happen together, but one doesn’t require the other. Squirting is not a measure of how good sex feels or how aroused you are. Plenty of people have intensely satisfying sex lives and never squirt once.
When Fluid Release Could Be Something Else
Some people experience involuntary fluid loss during sex that isn’t squirting. Coital incontinence, which is leaking urine during penetration or orgasm, is a recognized medical condition. It’s divided into two types: leaking during penetration (usually related to stress urinary incontinence) and leaking during orgasm (related to bladder muscle overactivity). Both are treatable.
The key difference is context and consistency. Squirting is tied to high arousal and specific stimulation. Coital incontinence tends to happen more predictably, may occur with any physical activity that puts pressure on the bladder, and the fluid is pure urine. If you’re experiencing unwanted fluid loss during sex and it concerns you, a pelvic floor specialist can help distinguish between the two.
The Bottom Line on Your Body
If you’ve tried different types of stimulation, focused on relaxation, and still don’t squirt, the most probable explanation is that your Skene’s glands are simply smaller or less active. That’s a normal anatomical variation, not a dysfunction. Your body isn’t broken, and you’re not doing anything wrong. Squirting is one of many possible responses to sexual arousal, not a benchmark for good sex or a skill everyone can unlock with the right tutorial.