The experience of breastfeeding is often portrayed as serene, yet many individuals feel unexpected and uncomfortable sensations. If you have ever felt a sudden wave of dread, anxiety, or agitation when your baby latches, you are not alone. These intense, negative feelings are a real, physiological phenomenon that is often unspoken and poorly understood. Understanding the nature of these sensations is the first step toward managing them and continuing your feeding journey. This guide explores the two primary causes behind these “weird feelings” and offers strategies for coping.
Identifying Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER)
Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER) is a physiological response linked to the letdown reflex. It is characterized by a sudden, intense wave of negative emotion that begins just before the milk flows and subsides quickly, typically lasting only 30 seconds to two minutes. Emotions can range widely, including sadness, dread, anxiety, anger, or a profound sense of emotional emptiness.
The mechanism for D-MER is believed to be hormonal, involving a transient drop in the neurotransmitter dopamine. When the body prepares for milk ejection, a surge of oxytocin is released, which suppresses dopamine activity in the brain. Since dopamine is associated with reward and mood regulation, this rapid, temporary decrease can trigger the dysphoric response in susceptible individuals.
D-MER is a physiological reflex, not a psychological disorder like postpartum depression or general anxiety. The feelings are time-limited, occurring only with the letdown, and resolve entirely as quickly as they began. This distinction from broader mood changes is fundamental to understanding the experience. Symptoms may occur with every letdown or only with the first one of a feeding session.
Understanding Breastfeeding Aversion and Agitation
Breastfeeding Aversion and Agitation (BAA) is distinct from D-MER, often manifesting as a strong feeling of irritation, anger, or a powerful urge to de-latch the child. Unlike D-MER, which is tied to the letdown reflex, aversion typically begins when the baby latches and can persist for the entire feeding session. The primary characteristic is a feeling of being “touched out” or trapped, often accompanied by intrusive thoughts or a pervasive sense of agitation.
Aversion is often sensory and psychological, though hormonal fluctuations may play a role, especially during pregnancy or when tandem nursing. Common triggers include over-stimulation, severe fatigue, or the baby’s feeding behavior, such as “nipple twiddling” or wandering hands. Individuals experiencing BAA frequently report feelings of shame and guilt because the negative emotions conflict with their desire to continue breastfeeding.
The experience can vary in intensity, from mild annoyance to intense rage that causes the individual to physically withdraw. The underlying cause is generally a reaction to physical or emotional stressors that make the sustained physical contact of nursing feel unbearable. While D-MER involves feelings like dread or sadness, aversion is more commonly associated with frustration and anger.
Coping Strategies for Uncomfortable Sensations
Since these sensations are a physiological or sensory response, coping mechanisms focus on minimizing the intensity of the feeling and distracting the mind. Distraction is highly effective for both D-MER and BAA, shifting the brain’s focus away from the negative reflex or sensory input. Engaging in an absorbing activity, such as watching television, reading a book, or scrolling on a phone, can help the brief D-MER episode pass unnoticed.
For those experiencing BAA, environmental changes can provide relief from sensory overload. Nursing in a quiet, dimly lit room or implementing a boundary, such as a short, timed nursing session, can help manage the feeling of being touched out. Simple self-care measures can also reduce the severity of both conditions. Prioritizing sleep and ensuring adequate hydration and nutrition are foundational steps, as fatigue and dehydration can worsen symptom intensity.
Increasing positive physical contact, like skin-to-skin time outside of the feeding session, can help regulate the nervous system and potentially counteract the negative reflex. For D-MER, deep breathing or mindfulness exercises practiced just before letdown can help ground the individual until the feeling passes. Dietary adjustments, such as reducing caffeine intake, may also help manage the anxiety component of these experiences.
When to Consult a Healthcare Provider
While D-MER and BAA are not typically signs of medical danger, professional guidance is necessary in specific situations. If the negative feelings extend significantly beyond the nursing session, becoming a persistent state of sadness, anxiety, or despair, it may indicate Postpartum Depression or an anxiety disorder requiring mental health intervention. Similarly, if the aversion or agitation leads to thoughts of self-harm or interferes with the ability to safely care for the infant, immediate professional help is needed.
Consult a healthcare provider or a lactation consultant if the discomfort is accompanied by physical symptoms suggesting infection or injury. This includes severe, unremitting pain, fever, flu-like symptoms, or a painful, red streak on the breast, which can be signs of mastitis. A lactation consultant can also help if the feelings make it difficult to continue breastfeeding, or if there are concerns about the baby’s weight gain or milk intake.