If you’re lying in bed unable to sleep, the single most effective thing you can do is get up. It sounds counterintuitive, but staying in bed while awake trains your brain to associate the bed with frustration rather than rest. Go to a dimly lit room, do something quiet and boring, and return only when you feel genuinely sleepy. Beyond that first step, there are several techniques you can try tonight and habits you can adjust starting tomorrow.
Get Out of Bed
Sleep specialists call this “stimulus control,” and it’s one of the most well-supported strategies in sleep medicine. The logic is simple: your bed should be a cue for sleep, not a place where you lie awake worrying about not sleeping. If you’ve been tossing for what feels like roughly 15 to 20 minutes, get up. Don’t check the clock obsessively to time it. If it feels like it’s been a while, that’s your signal.
Move to a different room. Keep the lights low. Read a physical book, fold laundry, listen to a calm podcast. Avoid anything stimulating or screen-based. When your eyelids start to feel heavy, go back to bed. If sleep doesn’t come again, repeat the process. This can feel frustrating the first few nights, but it retrains your brain surprisingly fast.
Slow Your Breathing Down
When you can’t sleep, your nervous system is often stuck in alert mode. Controlled breathing is one of the fastest ways to flip the switch toward your body’s relaxation response. The 4-7-8 method is a good starting point: inhale through your nose for four counts, hold for seven counts, then exhale slowly through your mouth for eight counts. Repeat this three or four times.
The long exhale is the key. Extending your out-breath activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which is your body’s built-in calming mechanism. It lowers your heart rate and signals to your brain that you’re safe. You don’t need to follow the exact counts rigidly. The principle is just to breathe out longer than you breathe in.
Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation
This technique works by tensing and then releasing each muscle group in your body, starting at your feet and moving upward. Curl your toes and arch your feet, hold the tension briefly, then let go completely. Move to your calves, then thighs, buttocks, lower back, abdomen, upper back, shoulders, arms, hands, neck, jaw, and forehead.
The release after each tension creates a wave of physical relaxation that’s hard to achieve just by “trying to relax.” Most people notice their body feels noticeably heavier by the time they reach their shoulders. The whole sequence takes about 10 minutes and pairs well with slow breathing. Harvard Health recommends it specifically as a sleep tool, and it’s one of the core techniques used in clinical insomnia treatment.
Scramble Your Thoughts
Racing thoughts are one of the most common reasons people can’t fall asleep. A technique called cognitive shuffling can interrupt the cycle. Pick a random, emotionally neutral word, like “garden.” Take the first letter, G, and visualize as many objects as you can that start with it: grapes, guitar, goldfish, gate. Picture each one clearly before moving on. When you run out, move to the second letter, A, and repeat.
This works because it mimics what your brain naturally does as it drifts toward sleep: generating random, loosely connected images without any narrative thread. Worrying, planning, and rehearsing conversations all keep your brain in problem-solving mode. Cognitive shuffling pulls your attention away from those patterns and toward the kind of low-stakes mental activity that lets your brain feel safe enough to shut down. The key is choosing neutral words. Think of animals or supermarket items, not anything emotionally loaded.
The Military Sleep Method
This technique gained popularity online, and while no formal studies have been conducted on it specifically, it combines several relaxation principles that are individually well supported. Lie on your back with your eyes closed. Starting at your forehead, consciously relax each part of your body, working down to your toes. Pay attention to your jaw (most people clench it without realizing), your shoulders, and your hands. Once your body feels loose, try to clear your mind for 10 seconds by imagining a calm scene: lying in a canoe on a still lake, or resting in a velvet hammock in a dark room.
Don’t expect the “fall asleep in two minutes” promise you may have seen online. That claim has no research behind it. But the method itself is a solid combination of body scanning and visualization, and many people find it helpful as a structured way to wind down.
What to Avoid in the Hours Before Bed
Caffeine has a half-life of four to six hours, meaning that if you drink a coffee at 4 p.m., half the caffeine is still circulating in your system at 10 p.m. Even caffeine consumed six hours before bedtime can measurably disrupt sleep quality, sometimes without you noticing. A good cutoff is early to mid-afternoon for most people.
Screens are the other major disruptor. The blue light emitted by phones, tablets, and laptops suppresses your body’s production of melatonin, the hormone that signals it’s time to sleep. Your eyes have photoreceptors that are particularly sensitive to blue wavelengths and barely respond to red, orange, or yellow light. Turning on night mode helps somewhat, but the content itself (social media, news, messages) also keeps your brain alert. Switching to a physical book, dim lighting, or a non-screen activity in the last hour before bed makes a real difference.
Set Up Your Room for Sleep
Your body needs to cool down to initiate sleep. Core body temperature naturally drops as part of the process, and a warm room works against that. The recommended bedroom temperature is 60 to 67°F (15 to 19°C), which feels cooler than most people keep their homes. If you don’t have precise thermostat control, a fan, lighter bedding, or sleeping with one foot outside the covers can help.
Darkness matters too. Even small amounts of light can interfere with melatonin production. Blackout curtains or a sleep mask are worth the investment if streetlights or early morning sun reach your bedroom. Noise is the final piece. If you can’t control your environment (traffic, neighbors, a snoring partner), a white noise machine or earplugs can create a more consistent sound backdrop.
Melatonin Supplements
Melatonin is widely available over the counter and is generally safe for short-term use. It’s most helpful for timing issues, like jet lag or a shifted sleep schedule, rather than for general insomnia. Common side effects include headache, dizziness, nausea, and next-day drowsiness. Less common reactions include mild anxiety, irritability, and confusion.
Many people take far more melatonin than they need. Your body produces it naturally in small amounts, and supplementing with large doses doesn’t make it work better. Starting low and seeing how you respond is the reasonable approach. Melatonin works best when taken one to two hours before your desired bedtime, not right as you’re climbing into bed.
When Sleeplessness Becomes a Pattern
Everyone has the occasional bad night. Stress, travel, schedule changes, and illness all cause temporary sleep disruption, and it usually resolves on its own. But if you’re having trouble sleeping three or more nights per week for longer than three months, that meets the clinical definition of chronic insomnia. At that point, the techniques above may help but are unlikely to be enough on their own.
The most effective treatment for chronic insomnia is cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, often abbreviated CBT-I. It’s a structured program, typically four to eight sessions, that combines stimulus control, sleep restriction, and techniques for managing the anxiety that builds up around sleep. It outperforms sleep medications in long-term studies and doesn’t come with dependence risks. Many therapists offer it, and several app-based versions exist for people who prefer a self-guided approach.