When a person living with dementia repeatedly expresses a desire to “go home,” it presents a common challenge for caregivers. This persistent longing can stem from various factors related to cognitive changes. Understanding the underlying reasons behind this behavior and learning appropriate responses is important for maintaining the well-being of both the individual with dementia and their caregivers.
Understanding the Desire
The request to “go home” often does not signify a literal wish to return to a specific house, but rather represents a deeper, unfulfilled emotional need. For individuals with dementia, memory loss can lead to disorientation, making them feel disoriented. They might believe they are younger and living in a past home, or they may forget that their childhood residence no longer exists, leading to a profound sense of displacement.
This desire often stems from a longing for comfort, security, and familiarity. If an individual feels confused, unsafe, or overwhelmed in their current surroundings, they may express a wish to return to a place where they felt secure. Unmet emotional needs, such as loneliness, boredom, or anxiety, may also manifest as this desire. The word “home” can therefore represent a feeling of belonging, safety, or a time when life felt simpler and more predictable.
Immediate Responses
When a person with dementia states they want to go home, validating their feelings is a first step. Instead of correcting them, acknowledge their sentiment by saying something like, “It sounds like you’re feeling a bit unsettled right now” or “It sounds like you’re missing home.” This approach helps to de-escalate distress by showing empathy and understanding their emotional state, rather than challenging their perception.
After validating their feelings, gently redirecting their attention to a pleasant activity or a different topic. This might involve suggesting a favorite snack, looking at old family photographs, or engaging them in a simple, familiar task. The goal is to shift their focus away from the source of their anxiety without directly confronting their statement, which can lead to agitation. Maintaining a calm and reassuring demeanor throughout this interaction is important, as your emotional state can influence theirs.
Avoid engaging in logical arguments or trying to convince them that they are already home. Explaining the reality of their situation, such as “You are home” or “Your old house was sold years ago,” can increase their confusion and distress, as their cognitive abilities prevent them from processing such information rationally. Instead, focus on providing comfort and reassurance, perhaps by holding their hand or offering a comforting hug, depending on their preference. Engaging them in meaningful tasks, such as folding laundry, watering plants, or listening to music, provides purpose and familiarity, diverting their attention from the desire to leave.
Creating a Reassuring Environment
Proactive measures to create a consistent and comforting environment reduces the frequency and intensity of the “going home” desire. Establishing a predictable daily routine helps to minimize confusion and provides a sense of security for individuals with dementia. Consistency in mealtimes, waking, and sleeping patterns can contribute to a feeling of stability and reduce anxiety.
Transforming the living space into a familiar and comforting haven is beneficial. Displaying personal photos, cherished items, and familiar furniture can evoke positive memories and reinforce a sense of belonging. Ensuring adequate, non-glare lighting and minimizing excessive noise or clutter reduces sensory overload, which often contributes to disorientation and agitation. A calm and organized environment supports cognitive function and promotes relaxation.
Providing engaging activities throughout the day helps prevent boredom and restlessness, which sometimes manifest as the desire to “go home.” These activities should be tailored to the individual’s interests and abilities, such as listening to music, gardening, or simple craft projects. Ensuring safety measures, such as secure doors and clear pathways, alleviates anxieties for both the individual and their caregivers, contributing to an overall sense of security within the home.
When to Seek Further Assistance
While many instances of a dementia patient wanting to “go home” can be managed with the strategies discussed, there are times when professional assistance becomes necessary. If the desire becomes constant, leading to persistent agitation, anxiety, or distress that cannot be managed through validation and redirection, it indicates a need for further evaluation. Persistent distress impacts quality of life.
Situations where the “going home” desire leads to safety concerns, such as attempts to leave the residence unsupervised, warrant immediate professional intervention. This behavior poses a direct risk to the individual’s well-being and highlights the need for a more comprehensive care plan. If caregivers find themselves feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or unable to cope with the demands of managing this behavior, seeking external support is crucial. Consulting with a doctor, a dementia specialist, or joining a local support group can provide valuable guidance, resources, and emotional relief, ensuring both the individual and their caregiver receive the necessary support.