What Not to Say to Someone With Psoriatic Arthritis

Psoriatic Arthritis (PsA) is a chronic, systemic inflammatory disease that impacts the body far beyond the surface, affecting both the joints and the skin. As an autoimmune condition, PsA causes the body’s immune system to mistakenly attack healthy tissues, leading to inflammation that can cause permanent joint damage if not managed. Because many of its most challenging symptoms are invisible to others, people living with PsA frequently encounter comments that are dismissive, judgmental, or unhelpful. Understanding which phrases to avoid is the first step toward offering genuine support to a loved one managing this complex disease.

Minimizing the Invisible Struggle

Comments that minimize the experience of Psoriatic Arthritis often focus on the patient’s outward appearance, ignoring the profound internal effects of the disease. A frequent, yet invalidating, remark is, “You look fine,” which suggests that the lack of visible symptoms means the person is not suffering. This ignores that PsA is often an invisible illness, with symptoms like pain and fatigue progressing internally and becoming more debilitating over time.

The fatigue associated with PsA is not simple tiredness; it is often a debilitating, systemic exhaustion tied to body-wide inflammation. Saying, “Everyone gets tired sometimes,” or “Are you sure it’s not just stress?” dismisses this profound fatigue as a common inconvenience rather than a symptom of an autoimmune disorder. PsA can also cause “brain fog,” making it difficult to concentrate or communicate. Furthermore, comparing PsA to common wear-and-tear arthritis by saying, “It’s just arthritis,” is inaccurate, as PsA is an inflammatory condition that can cause irreversible structural damage to joints, unlike non-inflammatory osteoarthritis.

Comments Focusing on Appearance or Blame

Psoriatic Arthritis is an autoimmune disease, meaning the body is attacking itself, yet comments often imply the condition is a result of poor lifestyle choices. Phrases like, “You should try going vegan,” or “If you just relaxed,” incorrectly place the burden of cause and cure on the patient’s personal actions or mental attitude. This ignores the complex genetic and immunological factors driving the disease.

When visible symptoms, such as the skin plaques of psoriasis or swollen joints, are present, comments can become focused on appearance. Inquiring about contagiousness or suggesting simple grooming solutions, such as, “Have you tried moisturizing?” reveals a misunderstanding of the disease’s origin. The skin lesions are an outward manifestation of an overactive immune response, not a hygiene issue. Drawing attention to these visible symptoms can cause feelings of shame and discomfort, as many patients already feel self-conscious about their appearance.

The Problem with Unsolicited Cures and Advice

Offering unsolicited medical advice, such as suggesting “miracle cures,” supplements, or extreme diets, is a common communication misstep. Remarks like, “My neighbor cured their arthritis with XYZ supplement,” or “You just need to try this cleanse,” are often well-intentioned but can be deeply frustrating. The act of offering an unproven remedy implies that the patient has not adequately researched their own chronic, lifelong condition or is somehow failing to get better.

Psoriatic Arthritis is typically managed through a personalized, long-term treatment plan, which may include powerful anti-inflammatory medications like biologics. Unasked-for suggestions dismiss the extensive regimen already established with medical professionals. Presenting a quick-fix solution also places an undue burden on the person with PsA to investigate every unverified remedy.

Shifting the Conversation to Supportive Alternatives

Instead of minimizing the struggle or offering solutions, focus on validating the person’s experience and offering practical support. Acknowledge the difficulty of their situation by saying, “That sounds incredibly difficult to manage,” or “I believe you.” This simple validation counters the minimizing comments they often hear.

Show genuine interest in their well-being by asking, “How can I support you right now?” or “What do you need from me today?” These open-ended questions empower the individual to define their needs, whether it is a quiet listener, practical help, or simply a distraction. Offering empathy and emotional support respects their expertise and is far more helpful than any suggestion for a new diet or supplement.