The proper use of time out is a widely recognized, evidence-based discipline technique. This method is designed to briefly interrupt a cycle of problematic behavior and provide a moment for the child to regain control of their emotions. When applied correctly and consistently, time out serves as a structured, non-physical consequence that helps children link their misbehavior directly to a temporary loss of desirable interaction or stimulation. It offers both the child and the caregiver a brief break from an escalating situation, allowing both parties to calm down before re-engaging.
Defining Time Out as a Behavioral Tool
The psychological mechanism behind time out is the removal from positive reinforcement. Following a defined misbehavior, the child is temporarily moved from an environment rich with attention or interaction to a neutral setting where such reinforcement is absent. This isolation is not intended as shaming or corporal punishment, but as a neutral consequence designed to make the undesirable behavior less likely to occur. The goal is to remove the reward, often the caregiver’s attention. Time out is generally most effective for children between two and eight years old, as they are developmentally capable of understanding the connection between their actions and the resulting consequence.
Preparing the Environment and Setting Expectations
Before the procedure is used, caregivers must select a designated, safe, and non-stimulating time out location. This spot should be an area such as a corner of a room or a specific chair, and should never be the child’s bedroom or a dark closet, which could introduce elements of fear. The location should be easily accessible but should not contain toys, books, or any source of entertainment that might inadvertently provide positive reinforcement. Once the location is chosen, the rules and expectations for behavior must be clearly explained to the child at a time when they are calm and receptive to learning.
Defining the target behaviors that will result in a time out is a necessary preparation step. Caregivers should agree on a small, specific list of behaviors, such as hitting, kicking, or refusing to follow directions after one warning, ensuring consistency across all adults involved in the child’s care. This prevents the procedure from being used inconsistently or for minor infractions that are better addressed through tactical ignoring or redirection. The procedure should be practiced or role-played when the child is in a good mood so they understand what is expected of them once a time out is called.
Implementing the Time Out Step-by-Step
When a defined target behavior occurs, the procedure begins with the caregiver giving a clear, non-emotional warning, if that is part of the established rule set. If the misbehavior continues, the caregiver must immediately and calmly state the misbehavior and the consequence in a brief phrase, such as, “No hitting, go to time out”. It is important to avoid lecturing, scolding, or arguing, as excessive communication can inadvertently reward the misbehavior with attention.
The child should then be escorted to the designated time out location, with the caregiver ensuring minimal physical or verbal interaction during this transit. Upon seating the child, a timer should be set for the appropriate duration, which is commonly determined by the guideline of one minute for every year of the child’s age. For example, a three-year-old would spend three minutes in time out. The timer, rather than the parent, signals the end of the isolation period, which provides an objective boundary for the child.
If the child leaves the time out location or is disruptive during the period, the timer must be immediately restarted upon their return to the spot. This handling of resistance teaches the child that the only way to end the consequence is to remain seated and quiet for the duration. Once the timer sounds, the time out is over, and the child should be released without a lengthy lecture or discussion. The caregiver can offer a brief moment of positive reconnection, such as a hug, and then redirect the child to a positive activity, reinforcing that the situation is resolved.
Avoiding Common Misapplications
Engaging in a debate or trying to explain the moral lesson while the child is in time out defeats the purpose of removing positive reinforcement. The time out period must be boring, silent, and free from any form of attention, which means ignoring the child’s protests or attempts to engage.
Another common error is using time out for behaviors outside a child’s control, such as accidents, or employing it as an empty threat that is not consistently followed through. Inconsistent application teaches the child that they might be able to get away with the behavior, reducing the procedure’s effectiveness. Extending the duration beyond the recommended time, especially past five to ten minutes for younger children, can lead to the child becoming overly upset, which interferes with the goal of self-calming. To ensure the procedure is a tool for learning rather than punishment, caregivers should focus on rewarding positive behavior when the time out is over, rather than dwelling on the past misdeed.