A sponsor in Narcotics Anonymous (NA) is a recovering addict who has made significant progress in working the NA program and guides a newer member, known as a sponsee, through recovery, a relationship fundamental to the NA fellowship. A sponsor acts as a personal mentor, sharing their experience, strength, and hope (ESH) to provide support and direction toward sustained abstinence. The sponsor-sponsee dynamic offers a personalized layer of accountability and encouragement outside of the communal meeting setting.
The Primary Function: Guiding Through the Twelve Steps
The central purpose of a sponsor is to instruct the sponsee in the practical application of the Twelve Steps and, often, the Twelve Traditions of Narcotics Anonymous. The Twelve Steps provide a framework for personal transformation, and the sponsor helps the sponsee move through this process sequentially and with purpose. This guidance involves asking the sponsee to read specific literature, complete written assignments, and reflect deeply on their past behaviors and present attitudes.
The sponsor shares personal insights from their own journey, clarifying the meaning of each step and demonstrating how the principles apply to daily living. For instance, the sponsor helps the sponsee prepare for the Fourth Step, which is a thorough moral inventory, and the Fifth Step, which involves admitting the exact nature of their wrongs to another person. They offer a non-judgmental ear, making it possible for the sponsee to be completely honest about their struggles and history.
This close working relationship facilitates a spiritual awakening, which is the ultimate aim of the Twelve Steps. The sponsor encourages the sponsee to develop a connection with a Higher Power, as understood by the individual, and to practice principles like honesty, humility, and service. Studies suggest that individuals who work with a sponsor are more likely to attend meetings and maintain long-term sobriety.
Finding and Choosing a Sponsor
The search for a sponsor typically begins by attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings and observing members who share their recovery experiences. A potential sponsor should be someone whose sobriety and personal qualities are attractive, reflecting a life the sponsee wishes to achieve. It is suggested that a potential sponsor has at least one year of continuous abstinence and has completed the Twelve Steps.
Selecting a sponsor involves looking for someone who “has what you want,” meaning they embody the spiritual and character development that comes from working the program. It is a long-standing suggestion within the fellowship that men sponsor men and women sponsor women to avoid potential complications or distractions in the recovery-focused relationship. Once a potential sponsor is identified, the sponsee simply needs to approach them privately and ask if they would be willing to serve in that role.
If the person agrees, the two will often discuss mutual expectations for contact, availability, and the pace of working the steps. If the initial request is declined, the newcomer is encouraged to be persistent and ask someone else or seek assistance from a meeting chairperson. The sponsor’s willingness to be available for regular check-ins and to answer questions is a sign of their commitment to the sponsee’s growth.
Defined Boundaries of the Sponsorship Relationship
The sponsorship relationship is focused solely on recovery through the Twelve Steps and operates within clear ethical and emotional limits. A sponsor provides guidance based on shared experience, not clinical expertise. They are not equipped to serve as:
- A professional counselor, therapist, or medical professional.
- A financial lender.
- Legal counsel or an employment advisor.
The relationship requires mutual respect for personal time and boundaries to remain healthy and effective. Sponsors will often set clear expectations about when they are available for calls and how often they expect to meet, and the sponsee is expected to respect those limits. A sponsor’s primary responsibility is to help the sponsee work the program, not to make life decisions for them or to rescue them from the consequences of their actions.
Romantic or sexual involvement between a sponsor and sponsee is strongly discouraged as it compromises the integrity of the relationship. The sponsor acts as a guide and confidant for issues related to addiction and recovery, providing direct and honest input while maintaining objectivity. The relationship thrives on trust and honesty, but it must remain centered on the principles of the Narcotics Anonymous program.