The phrase “born sleeping” is a gentle, compassionate term for the profound loss of a baby who dies before or during birth. It acknowledges the baby’s existence and the parents’ deep connection, offering a sensitive alternative to clinical language. For families, this experience is often marked by immense pain and a complex emotional journey. Understanding stillbirth, from its medical definition to available support, can provide clarity during such a difficult time.
What “Born Sleeping” Means
The term “born sleeping” refers to stillbirth, which is medically defined as the death of a fetus at or after 20 weeks of pregnancy. This distinguishes it from a miscarriage, which is the loss of a pregnancy before the 20th week of gestation. While both are forms of pregnancy loss, the developmental stage of the baby at the time of loss is the key differentiating factor.
In the United States, approximately 21,000 babies are stillborn each year, affecting about 1 in every 175 births. Globally, around 1.9 to 2 million stillbirths occur annually.
Potential Causes and Contributing Factors
Identifying the precise cause of stillbirth can be challenging; in up to 50% of cases, a clear reason is never found, even after comprehensive medical investigation. However, several categories of factors are known to contribute to stillbirth.
Placental problems are frequently implicated, as the placenta is responsible for delivering oxygen and nutrients to the baby. Conditions like placental abruption, where the placenta separates from the uterus, or placental insufficiency, where it fails to function adequately, can severely compromise the baby’s well-being. Fetal conditions such as genetic abnormalities, structural birth defects, or restricted growth can also lead to stillbirth.
Maternal health conditions, including high blood pressure (preeclampsia), diabetes, and various infections, are also contributing factors. Infections, which may not always present obvious symptoms in the mother, can sometimes travel to the womb and affect the baby. Issues with the umbilical cord, such as knots, compression, or prolapse, can disrupt the flow of blood and oxygen, leading to stillbirth in some instances. Stillbirth is generally not the result of parental actions.
Immediate Medical Care and Support
Following a stillbirth, medical professionals in a hospital setting typically offer various options to support the grieving parents. Many parents are given the opportunity to spend time with their baby, which can be an important part of acknowledging the loss and beginning the grieving process.
Hospitals often facilitate the creation of cherished keepsakes, such as photos, handprints, and footprints. These tangible memories can provide comfort and a lasting connection to the baby. Medical tests, including an autopsy, genetic testing, and examination of the placenta, may be offered to help determine the cause of the stillbirth, which can be valuable for future pregnancies.
Discussions regarding arrangements for funeral or cremation services are also part of the immediate care provided. Some hospitals may offer support or reduced costs for these services. Throughout this difficult period, hospital staff, including nurses and social workers, play a crucial role in offering immediate emotional and practical support to families.
Coping with Loss and Remembrance
The emotional journey after a stillbirth is deeply personal, and grief manifests differently for everyone. Parents often experience intense sadness, feelings of guilt, and a sense of isolation.
Seeking support from family, friends, and organized groups can be beneficial during this time. Many free, virtual support groups exist, offering a safe space for parents to connect with others who share similar experiences. Professional counseling or therapy can also provide valuable guidance and coping strategies.
Numerous ways exist for parents to remember and honor their baby. Creating a memory box filled with keepsakes like ultrasound photos, hospital bracelets, or tiny clothes can provide a tangible connection. Symbolic gestures, such as planting a tree or garden, lighting a candle, or naming a star, allow for a lasting tribute. Some families find comfort in donating to charities in their baby’s name or creating a dedicated space at home to remember their child.