“Gripping” in a sexual context refers to the intentional contraction of internal pelvic floor muscles. This action aims to enhance sensation and connection for both partners during intimate moments, creating varying degrees of pressure and movement for a more heightened and interactive sexual experience.
Identifying and Understanding Pelvic Floor Muscles
The pelvic floor muscles form a sling-like structure at the base of the pelvis, extending from the pubic bone to the tailbone, and side to side between the sitting bones. These muscles support various organs, including the bladder and bowel, and the uterus and vagina in women, holding them in place against gravity and abdominal pressure.
Beyond sexual function, these muscles play a role in controlling the release of urine, feces, and gas, and they contribute to core stability. For men, these muscles also influence erectile function and ejaculation. For women, they contribute to sexual sensation and arousal, and provide support during pregnancy.
To identify these muscles, a simple method involves attempting to stop the flow of urine mid-stream, though this should not be done routinely as it can lead to bladder emptying issues. Another way is to imagine trying to prevent yourself from passing gas, feeling the muscles around the anus tighten and lift. For women, inserting a finger into the vagina and squeezing the muscles around it can help. Men may feel a pulling-in sensation of the anus and a slight movement of the penis if the muscles are engaged correctly.
Exercises to Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor
Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles often involves performing Kegel exercises, which are designed to improve muscle control and endurance. These exercises can be done in various positions, such as sitting, standing, or lying down, with many finding it easiest to start while lying down. Focus on lifting and squeezing the pelvic floor muscles as if picking something up.
A common approach involves slow contractions: tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for about three to five seconds, and then fully relax for the same duration. Ensure a complete release of the muscles after each contraction, imagining them expanding and softening. As strength improves, the hold time can gradually be increased to ten seconds, with a corresponding ten-second relaxation period.
In addition to sustained holds, quick contractions can also be incorporated. This involves rapidly tensing and releasing the muscles for about one second each. Breathe normally throughout the exercise and avoid engaging other muscles like those in the abdomen, buttocks, or thighs. Engaging these accessory muscles indicates incorrect technique and can reduce the effectiveness of the exercise.
Aim to perform at least two to three sets of 10 to 15 Kegel exercises per day. Incorporating these exercises into a daily routine, such as during routine tasks like brushing teeth or after urination, can be helpful. If there is difficulty in identifying the correct muscles or if pain occurs, consulting a healthcare professional or a physical therapist specializing in pelvic floor exercises can provide guidance and alternative techniques like biofeedback or electrical stimulation.
Applying Gripping Techniques During Sex
Once the pelvic floor muscles are strengthened, they can be actively engaged during sexual activity to enhance sensation and pleasure. The goal is to consciously contract these muscles, creating a “gripping” action. One way to integrate this is through sustained squeezes, where the muscles are tightened and held for a few seconds during penetration. This can create a feeling of increased tightness and pressure for the partner.
Another technique involves rhythmic pulses, where the pelvic floor muscles are repeatedly contracted and relaxed in a pulsing motion. This can be varied in speed and intensity, adding dynamic sensations during intercourse. For those with a vagina, imagining picking up a small object with the vaginal muscles can help visualize the upward and inward squeeze, which can be applied during penetrative sex to draw a penis or toy deeper.
For individuals with a penis, engaging the pelvic floor muscles can improve blood flow to the groin, potentially enhancing erection hardness and control over ejaculation. This can involve subtly contracting the muscles to create a “wagging” motion of the penis, which can be perceived by a partner. The ability to vary the tension of these muscles can also contribute to delaying ejaculation, allowing for extended pleasure.
These techniques offer mutual benefits. Increased sensation for one partner can heighten arousal for the other. Strengthening these muscles can improve arousal and lubrication for women, and for men, it can lead to increased pleasure and potentially more intense orgasms, fostering a more interactive and satisfying sexual experience.
Enhancing Intimacy Through Communication
Open communication with a partner is important when exploring new sexual techniques, including pelvic floor gripping. Discussing desires, boundaries, and preferences creates a safe and trusting environment conducive to mutual enjoyment. Initiating these conversations at a neutral time and location, rather than during intimate moments, helps ensure both partners are relaxed and receptive.
When discussing these topics, be clear and concise about what you would like to try or what sensations you are aiming for. Active listening is also important; focus on what your partner is saying and ask clarifying questions to ensure mutual understanding. This approach fosters a deeper connection and allows both individuals to feel heard and valued.
Verbal affirmations during sex, such as “that feels good” or “right there,” can also reinforce positive experiences and guide your partner. Non-verbal cues, like body movements and facial expressions, also communicate pleasure and comfort. Combining verbal and non-verbal communication enhances desire and creates a more fulfilling intimate connection.