There is no reliable way to get rid of being drunk fast. Your liver breaks down alcohol at a fixed rate of roughly one standard drink per hour, and nothing you do, not coffee, not a cold shower, not exercise, will speed that process up in any meaningful way. If you’ve had five drinks, you’re looking at about five hours before the alcohol is fully out of your system. Understanding why can help you make smarter choices in the moment and avoid dangerous mistakes.
Why Your Body Can’t Be Rushed
Alcohol is processed almost entirely by your liver using two enzymes that work in sequence. The first converts alcohol into a toxic byproduct called acetaldehyde. The second converts that byproduct into acetate, which your body then breaks down into water and carbon dioxide. This is a chemical assembly line, and it runs at one speed. Your liver handles about one ounce of liquor, one 12-ounce beer, or one 5-ounce glass of wine per hour.
A backup system kicks in when you drink heavily, but it doesn’t add much capacity. The rate is largely determined by genetics, body size, and overall nutrition. You can’t train it to go faster, and no supplement or trick overrides it. When someone claims they “sobered up” after doing something specific, what actually happened is that enough time passed for their liver to do its job.
What Actually Helps (And What Doesn’t)
Coffee and Caffeine
Coffee does not lower your blood alcohol level. According to the CDC, caffeine makes you feel more alert, but the effects of alcohol on your body do not change when it’s combined with caffeine. The real danger here is becoming what researchers call a “wide-awake drunk,” someone who feels capable but is still fully impaired. This can lead to drinking more, driving when you shouldn’t, or misjudging your coordination. Skip the espresso if your goal is actual sobriety.
Cold Showers
A cold shower will shock you awake and might make you feel sharper for a few minutes. It has zero effect on how fast your liver clears alcohol. The Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation puts it plainly: a cold shower may make sobering up a cleaner experience, but it does not lower your blood alcohol level. There’s also a safety risk. Drunk people have impaired balance and reaction time, and a sudden blast of cold water in a slippery tub is a recipe for a fall.
Vomiting
Throwing up can remove alcohol that’s still sitting in your stomach, but once alcohol enters your bloodstream, it’s there until your liver processes it. Most absorption happens within 30 to 60 minutes of drinking, so vomiting well after your last drink accomplishes very little. Forcing yourself to vomit also carries risks: you can tear your esophagus, inhale vomit into your lungs, or become dangerously dehydrated.
Exercise
Working out does not burn off alcohol. Vigorous exercise can change how a breathalyzer reads your breath (by altering your breathing rate and swapping alcohol vapors for fresh air), but it does not reduce the actual alcohol concentration in your blood. You’ll just be a sweaty, dehydrated drunk with an elevated heart rate, which places extra stress on your cardiovascular system.
Fructose: The One Exception (Sort Of)
There is one substance with some clinical evidence behind it: fructose, the sugar found in fruit and honey. In a study of 45 men, a large dose of fructose (about one gram per kilogram of body weight) reduced the duration of intoxication by roughly 31% and sped up alcohol elimination from the bloodstream by about 45%. For a 180-pound person, that dose would be around 82 grams of fructose, the equivalent of eating several pounds of fruit or drinking a large amount of fruit juice in a short window.
The mechanism makes biological sense. Fructose metabolism in the liver generates a molecule that your alcohol-processing enzymes need to do their work, essentially giving them more fuel. But there are practical problems. Consuming that much fructose at once commonly causes nausea, bloating, and diarrhea, especially on a stomach already irritated by alcohol. It’s not a realistic strategy for most situations, and it still doesn’t produce instant sobriety. It just shortens the timeline somewhat.
What You Can Do Right Now
If you’re looking for this article, you’re probably drunk or helping someone who is. Here’s what actually makes a difference while time does the heavy lifting.
- Drink water. Alcohol is a diuretic, meaning it pulls water from your body. Dehydration makes hangover symptoms worse and can amplify the foggy, dizzy feeling of intoxication. Alternate between water and time.
- Eat something. Food won’t sober you up, but it can slow the absorption of any alcohol still in your stomach. Starchy, bland foods are easiest on a nauseous stomach.
- Stop drinking. This sounds obvious, but every additional drink resets the clock. If your last drink was at midnight and you had five total, your body won’t finish processing the alcohol until roughly 5 a.m. Adding one more pushes that to 6 a.m.
- Wait it out somewhere safe. Sit down, put on something to watch, and let time pass. This is genuinely the most effective strategy available.
When Intoxication Becomes an Emergency
There’s a critical line between “very drunk” and alcohol poisoning, and crossing it can be fatal. Call emergency services if you see any of these signs in yourself or someone else:
- Breathing that slows to fewer than 8 breaths per minute
- Gaps of 10 seconds or more between breaths
- Skin that is clammy, bluish, or extremely pale
- A noticeably slow heart rate
- Extremely low body temperature
- Inability to stay conscious or be woken up
A person showing these symptoms needs medical help, not home remedies. Do not leave them alone to “sleep it off.”
How to Keep a Drunk Person Safe While Sleeping
If someone is intoxicated and falling asleep, position them on their left side with their head supported by their right hand and their right knee bent forward to prevent them from rolling onto their stomach. This keeps their airway clear. If they vomit while unconscious on their back, they can choke. Staying on their side lets gravity pull any vomit away from the airway. Check on them periodically to make sure their breathing is steady and they haven’t rolled onto their back.