Scissoring is a sex position where two partners interlock their legs and press their genitals together, using a grinding or rocking motion to create friction and stimulation. Though often associated with women who have sex with women, it’s a position any couple can try. Here’s what it actually involves, how to make it comfortable, and what to expect beyond what porn suggests.
What Scissoring Actually Involves
The basic idea is simple: both partners sit or lie facing each other with legs spread and interlocked, forming a shape that looks roughly like an open pair of scissors. One partner’s leg goes over, the other’s goes under, and you adjust until your genitals make contact. From there, the movement is a slow grind or rhythmic rocking of the hips rather than thrusting.
For partners with vulvas, the pleasure comes primarily from clitoral stimulation through skin-on-skin contact. Many people find it enjoyable because it allows whole-body contact and the sensation of matching your partner’s rhythm without needing hands or toys. Some people grind against a partner’s pubic bone, others focus on pressing the vulvas directly together. The psychological intimacy of full-body closeness is a big part of what makes it appealing.
Partners of any genital configuration can adapt the position. A person with a penis can use the same interlocked-leg arrangement to create friction against a partner’s genitals, inner thigh, or perineum. The core mechanic is the same: interlocking legs, pressing close, and grinding.
How to Get Into Position
Start with both partners sitting on the bed facing each other, legs extended. One partner leans back onto their hands or elbows while spreading their legs. The other partner does the same, sliding forward so that your legs overlap like the blades of scissors. Your hips should be close enough that your genitals make direct contact.
From here you have a few common arrangements:
- Face to face (V shape): Both partners lean back on their hands or elbows, hips angled toward each other, legs forming a wide V. This gives good eye contact and lets you both control the rocking motion.
- Crossed (X shape): Both partners lie flat on their backs with legs interlocked at roughly a 90-degree angle, forming an X. This can feel less physically demanding since neither person is holding themselves up.
- Stacked: One partner lies on top of the other, face to face, with one leg between the other’s thighs. This is closer to what’s clinically called tribadism, and it allows the most full-body contact. Some people find it the easiest variation for sustained clitoral pressure because you can grind against your partner’s thigh or pubic bone.
There’s no single “correct” configuration. The goal is finding an angle where contact feels good for both people, which usually takes some trial and error.
Making It Comfortable
Scissoring asks more of your body than it might seem. Depending on the variation, you’ll rely on core strength, upper body strength, and especially hip mobility. Spending a few minutes stretching your hips and hamstrings beforehand makes a noticeable difference, particularly for the V-shape position where you’re leaning back on your arms.
A wedge pillow or firm regular pillow under one partner’s hips can change the angle just enough to improve contact and reduce strain. This is especially helpful when partners have different body types or heights, since even a small height difference at the hips can make alignment tricky. Experiment with pillow placement under the hips, lower back, or even under a supporting arm.
If you find your legs cramping or your arms getting tired, switch variations. The flat X-shape position lets both partners rest their full weight on the mattress, which buys you more time. The stacked position works well too, since the partner on top controls the pressure and the partner underneath doesn’t need to hold any particular pose.
Lubrication and Friction
Scissoring involves a lot of sustained skin-on-skin friction, and without enough lubrication, that friction turns into chafing pretty quickly. Natural lubrication may not be sufficient, especially over longer sessions, so adding lubricant is worth considering from the start.
A silicone-based lubricant tends to work well here because it’s long-lasting and maintains a slippery feel without drying out the way water-based options can. Silicone lubes are also safe with latex barriers if you’re using them. A water-silicone blend is another good option that combines lasting slickness with easy cleanup.
A few ingredients to avoid: glycerin, which can trigger yeast infections in people who are prone to them; petroleum-based oils, which can cause vaginal irritation; and anything with nonoxynol-9 or menthol, both of which irritate sensitive skin. If a lubricant advertises a “warming sensation,” that warming effect comes from ingredients that actually increase friction on the skin, which is the opposite of what you want.
What Porn Gets Wrong
Scissoring has a complicated reputation partly because its most visible representation is in porn produced for a male audience. That’s led to a few persistent misconceptions worth clearing up.
First, it’s not always easy or instantly orgasmic. Porn makes it look like two people can snap into position and immediately reach climax. In reality, finding the right angle takes adjustment, the position can be physically tiring, and orgasm from grinding alone varies widely from person to person. Some people find it’s one of the easier ways to climax because of the broad clitoral stimulation. Others enjoy the intimacy but need additional stimulation to finish.
Second, it’s a real sex act, not just a visual performance. People who enjoy scissoring consistently describe the appeal in terms of full-body closeness, the sensation of syncing hip movements with a partner, and the eroticism of genital-to-genital contact without using hands. The pleasure is both physical and psychological.
Third, the position isn’t limited to two people with vulvas. While it’s most commonly associated with queer women, the interlocked-leg, grinding-based setup works across body types and genital configurations.
STI Risk
Because scissoring doesn’t involve penetration, people sometimes assume it carries no STI risk. That’s not accurate. Several infections spread through skin-to-skin contact, including herpes, HPV, and syphilis. Direct genital-to-genital contact creates a transmission pathway for these regardless of whether penetration occurs. Dental dams cut to lay flat, or even plastic wrap, can serve as a barrier during tribadism, though many people find barriers impractical in this position. The key point is that the risk isn’t zero, and the same safer-sex awareness you’d bring to any sexual activity applies here too.