Modern reproductive medicine offers several pathways for a lesbian couple to achieve parenthood using donor sperm. These medical advancements allow women to conceive with varying degrees of biological participation from one or both partners. The decision involves choosing a medical procedure that aligns with the couple’s health, financial situation, and desire for a genetic connection to the child.
Utilizing Donor Sperm for Conception
Conception requires the introduction of sperm, which must be acquired from a third party, either a known individual or a donor bank. Sperm banks offer highly screened, anonymous donors, providing a layer of legal protection as the donor typically waives all parental rights. Utilizing a known donor requires comprehensive legal contracts to define the donor’s role and prevent future claims of legal parenthood. Before use, the sperm sample is prepared in a lab, washed, and concentrated.
Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)
Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) is the least invasive and least expensive option. This procedure involves placing the washed sperm directly into the uterus near the time of ovulation. IUI is often the first step for couples without a diagnosed fertility issue and can be performed with or without ovarian stimulating medication. The procedure allows the chosen partner to use her own egg and carry the pregnancy. While the success rate per cycle is lower than more advanced methods, multiple cycles can lead to a cumulative success rate of up to 70% in some cases.
In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)
In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) is a more involved procedure that offers a higher per-cycle success rate. IVF is often recommended if IUI fails or if underlying fertility factors exist. The chosen partner undergoes a cycle of injectable hormones to stimulate the ovaries to produce multiple eggs. These eggs are retrieved and fertilized with donor sperm in a laboratory dish. The resulting embryo is then transferred into the same partner’s uterus to establish a pregnancy, and extra embryos can be frozen for future use.
The Process of Reciprocal In Vitro Fertilization
Reciprocal In Vitro Fertilization (RIVF), sometimes called co-IVF or shared motherhood, allows both partners to participate biologically. One partner provides the egg, making her the genetic mother, and the other partner carries the resulting pregnancy, making her the gestational mother. The process begins with the egg provider undergoing hormone injections for ovarian stimulation. Once mature, the eggs are retrieved and fertilized in the lab with donor sperm to create embryos.
While the embryos develop, the partner who will carry the baby prepares her uterus by taking hormones to thicken the endometrial lining. An embryo is then selected and transferred into her uterus. The success rates for RIVF are similar to those of traditional IVF, depending primarily on the age and egg quality of the partner who provided the oocytes.
Options Involving Third-Party Assistance
For couples where neither partner can provide viable eggs, a third-party egg donor or pre-existing donor embryos can be utilized. An egg donor, who may be known or anonymous, provides the oocytes that are then fertilized with donor sperm. The resulting embryo is then transferred into the uterus of one of the partners who wishes to carry the baby. This pathway is medically necessary when both partners have reduced ovarian reserve or other issues preventing the use of their own eggs.
Alternatively, if neither partner can safely carry a pregnancy due to medical reasons, the couple can pursue gestational surrogacy. In this scenario, an embryo is created and transferred into the uterus of a gestational carrier. The carrier has no genetic link to the child, serving only as the incubator for the nine months of pregnancy. Gestational surrogacy is significantly more complex and costly, often representing the highest financial investment among all family-building options.
Securing Legal Parenthood and Financial Planning
Navigating the legal landscape is a critical step to protect the parental rights of both mothers. While marriage often grants a presumption of legal parenthood to the non-biological mother when conception occurs at a licensed fertility clinic, this protection is not universal across all jurisdictions. To ensure the non-biological parent has full, legally recognized rights, a second-parent or step-parent adoption is frequently recommended. Legal consultation is important to draft comprehensive agreements that clearly state the intent of the couple and the donor, safeguarding the family’s structure.
The financial commitment for these procedures varies widely. IUI costs significantly less than IVF, ranging from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars per cycle, excluding the cost of donor sperm. A single cycle of standard or reciprocal IVF can easily range from $15,000 to over $20,000 when accounting for medications, monitoring, and lab fees. Gestational surrogacy represents the highest cost, often reaching six figures due to carrier compensation, agency fees, and legal expenses. Since insurance coverage for fertility treatment is highly variable, thorough financial planning is a necessity.