When a friend expresses thoughts of self-harm, it can be an unsettling experience. Navigating this sensitive situation requires a thoughtful approach to provide effective support. This guide offers actionable steps and strategies to help you support a friend who may be experiencing suicidal thoughts.
Responding to Immediate Danger
If your friend communicates suicidal intentions, take all threats seriously. Any talk about ending their life warrants immediate attention. Ensure their safety by staying with them if possible and making certain they are not left alone.
If there is an immediate risk of self-harm, such as a specific plan, available means, or a set time, seek emergency help without delay. This may involve calling emergency services, such as 911 in the United States, or taking your friend to the nearest hospital emergency department. Prioritizing their safety is paramount. Removing any items that could be used for self-harm, such as weapons or certain medications, can also be a necessary safety measure if it can be done without putting yourself at risk.
Communicating with Care
Once immediate safety concerns are addressed, or while waiting for assistance, open and empathetic communication becomes important. Directly asking about suicidal thoughts, using clear language like, “Are you thinking about suicide?”, does not put the idea into their head. This directness can open a dialogue and provide a sense of relief, making it easier for them to share their feelings.
Active listening is a helpful communication skill, focusing on understanding your friend’s pain without judgment. Allow them to express their emotions and experiences without interruption, showing that you are present and engaged. Express genuine care and concern, letting them know they are not alone and that support is available.
Consider what not to say. Avoid minimizing their feelings with phrases like, “It’s not that bad,” or offering platitudes such as, “You have so much to live for.” These statements can invalidate their experience and make them feel misunderstood. Instead, reassure them that their feelings are valid and that you are there to support them.
Accessing Professional Help
Connecting your friend with professional mental health resources is a significant step toward long-term recovery. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline offers free and confidential emotional support 24 hours a day, seven days a week, across the United States. Individuals can call or text 988, or chat online, to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
Another resource is the Crisis Text Line, which provides free, confidential mental health support by texting HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the United States. These services offer immediate assistance and help navigate next steps.
Beyond crisis lines, mental health professionals like therapists and psychiatrists can provide ongoing treatment. You can assist your friend in finding local services through their primary care doctor, insurance providers, or online directories.
Providing Ongoing Support
After the immediate crisis subsides and your friend begins engaging with professional help, continued support from you remains valuable. Regularly checking in with them, without being overwhelming, can demonstrate your consistent presence. This can involve simple gestures like a text message or a brief call.
Encourage them to adhere to their treatment plans, which may include attending therapy sessions or taking prescribed medications. Your role is to be a reliable presence, fostering a sense of connection.
Remember that you are not a mental health professional. Avoid taking on the role of a therapist, as this can be emotionally taxing and is beyond the scope of a friendship. Reinforce the importance of professional help for their recovery.
Caring for Yourself
Supporting a friend in crisis can be emotionally demanding. Seeking your own support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist can provide an outlet for processing your emotions. This helps prevent burnout and ensures you remain able to offer support.
Setting boundaries is also important to maintain your own emotional health. This involves recognizing your limits regarding time, energy, and emotional capacity. Remember that you are not solely responsible for your friend’s well-being, and engaging in self-care activities helps preserve your mental and emotional resources.