It is possible to acquire a sexually transmitted infection (STI) even within a monogamous relationship. This can be surprising, raising questions about trust and fidelity. However, medically understood reasons exist for such a diagnosis that do not always indicate recent non-monogamy.
Uncovering Dormant or Asymptomatic Infections
Many common STIs can reside in the body without causing noticeable symptoms for extended periods. This asymptomatic nature means an individual can carry an infection for months or years without realizing it, unknowingly transmitting it. For instance, Chlamydia and Gonorrhea can remain asymptomatic for months or years, often detected only through routine testing or when complications arise.
Some viruses, such as Herpes simplex virus (HSV) and Human Papillomavirus (HPV), can lie dormant in nerve cells after initial exposure. HSV can reactivate periodically, causing outbreaks, but many individuals with HSV-2 are unaware they carry the virus. Similarly, HPV can remain in the body for years without symptoms, with a latency period that can range from months to years, before causing visible warts or cellular changes. HIV also has a significant asymptomatic phase, where individuals may not experience symptoms for several years, potentially a decade or longer, while the virus is still active and can be transmitted. Therefore, a new STI diagnosis indicates exposure at some point, not necessarily recent sexual activity.
Addressing Trust and Past Sexual Histories
An STI diagnosis in a monogamous relationship can raise concerns about trust, but various scenarios should be considered. While non-monogamy is a direct cause of new STI exposure, it is not the only explanation. Open and honest communication about sexual history is foundational for any relationship.
Partners may enter a relationship without fully understanding their past sexual health. This could be due to a lack of previous testing, misinformation, or the asymptomatic nature of many STIs, where an individual genuinely does not know they are infected. For instance, 70-80% of women and 50% of men with Chlamydia experience no symptoms. This lack of awareness can lead to an infection from a past relationship only becoming apparent years later. Discussing sexual health and history, ideally before a relationship becomes exclusive, or at regular intervals, can help manage expectations and understanding if a diagnosis occurs.
Responding to an STI Diagnosis
Receiving an STI diagnosis within a monogamous relationship can trigger emotions like shock, confusion, anger, or sadness. The initial step involves both partners seeking medical confirmation and appropriate treatment. Healthcare providers offer accurate diagnoses and guide individuals through prescribed treatment plans.
Open and honest communication between partners is essential during this time. Approach the discussion calmly, focusing on understanding the situation rather than assigning blame. Acknowledging the emotional impact and seeking support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist can be beneficial for both.
For future prevention, even within a committed relationship, discussing safe sex practices and considering regular STI testing is advisable. This proactive approach supports individual and relational health, shifting focus towards shared responsibility and well-being.